Intrepid Steaks

This page is in honour of the Intrepid search for the best, cheapest, biggest or some other -est steaks in Melbourne. Having attended my first such monthly event last night, I shall endeavour to start the mudslinging below!


Grace Darling Hotel

Smith St, Collingwood

Price: $12 steak, mash & salad

There was serious dissent when we went round the table to rate these steaks. I gave the steak a 4 1/2 and chose not to rate the mashed potato (because I don't like mashed potato) nor the salad, which had nice gourmet lettuce, tasty cucumber, hard, flavourless, supermarket tomatoes & commercial-but-pretty-good dressing. So back to the steak. The scotch fillet was not only lacking its signature tenderness (we had to use steak knives), but didn't make up for it in flavour either. It wasn't exactly tough, but tougher than it should have been. And the 'gravy' looked like a pool of blood around the steak, which might have been nice had it had some good sanguine flavour, but alas, it didn't. For $12 you can't complain too much, but I still have to call an ordinary steak just that, ordinary. Happy editing, MrKistic! ;-)


Why thank you. Not being able to cut your steak using only two forks does not constitute it being tough. You should be thankful you made it to one SICoS gathering... it may be your only such outing! The end. The aim of the SICoS is not to find the anythingest steak - it is to eat steak. While obviously we prefer the steak in question to not have been mistaken for a shoe upper, this is not the only requirement for the evening. A crappidy $12 steak hot on the heels of a pub crawl can be equally as delicious as the $70 delicacies consumed most appreciatively the previous month.


Thanks for the La Luna tip below too, we're investigating it for next week's venue as we speak!


I see we have a fundamental communication issue over the steak above. See, I in no way indicated that I did not have a lovely time, nor that I did not, in fact, eat most of the steak in question. I did, in fact, have a very lovely time, apparently so lovely that it resulted in my dear husband crashing into at least two innocently parked cars on the way home (on his bike, for those who were worried) and nearly running me off the road at various points as well. However, given that this is a wiki devoted to speaking our truths about food, that is my mandate and I shall follow it! I must agree with you that for $12 these days one can't expect culinary deliciosity, however, I still feel I have plenty of licence to describe the slab o'meat as it was. Which was just ordinary - not bad, but ordinary. That's life, that's steak, and that's the truth. tammois


Not to worry, I'm sure with many more wiki entries we'll work things out :)


We're off to Greasy Joe's in St Kilda this month so a review will be posted shortly.


Greasy Joe's

Acland St, St Kilda


La Luna Bistro

Rathdowne St Carlton

Has the best aged beef in town- has different cuts each night. From memory it's close to $30 a serve though.


The Steakhouse


Price: very pricy, but Super Tuesday is half off!

For the Super Tuesday deal, you have to order a steak and either an entree or a dessert, and then you get half off the whole damn thing. So what looks grim at first ($18 for 1/2 dozen oysters, $55 for 350g of Wagyu rump), is suddenly completely reasonable, especially given the extremely high rating I'm about to give these steaks... wait for it... a 9!! I could almost go 9 1/2, but I still have a strong memory of the t-bone steaks Dad used to do to perfection when I was a kid, and I reckon nobody's beat that yet. For a man who liked his own meat cooked to cardboard, he was amazingly tuned in to the perfect medium rare for yours truly. But back to the Steakhouse... If you can put up with the fact that it's at the Docklands, which I think would be more aptly described as the Wastelands (O O O O that Shakespeherian rag...), and all the bleak bland boring aesthetic both inside and out, you get to the real point of the matter, which is, these people know steak. Beautiful cuts of grain fed Queensland Wagyu, seared to a luscious crispness on the outside but leaving a soft, warm red centre... mmmmm... amusingly perched on top of a lovely potato gratin. You can have a side salad or vegetable (roast capsicum with Bulgarian feta, broccoli florettes that received high acclaim from MrKistic) if you need to disturb the sanctity of the encounter with sanguinity. The wines are rather nice as well, and surprisingly not massively overpriced ($28 for Rouge Homme Cab Merlot). Oh, and check out the awesome steak guide at


It's just too bad about the Docklands location...